Fanclub

i've had a few fanclub membership requests, thanks everyone for joining! i've also had a few emails asking just what the fanclub is all about. with the permission of a few existing members, i'm going to post two sample letters below to let you know just what you get with your membership!

enjoy!

this letter is in response to the theme of "aging":


and this letter is for "flirting":

me. me. me.

i love it when you send questions about me. i'm not sure if you have realized it, but i love talking about myself. i know some people think that's self centered, but i don't. i think it's self confident. i mean, how else can i share my lethal qualities with the world without talking about my experiences, my life, my love...in short...about me!

anyway. i got this question from tom here in philadelphia. wonder if i'll start seeing him around my apartment anytime soon? lets hope he's just a fan, not a "superfan"...i'm not so sure i need one of those.

Question:
What can we find you doing at 2pm on a given weekday?
-Tom

Answer:
well, tom, every day is a new adventure for me. some days i'm working, some days i'm lunching on the square, some days i'm sitting around my house in my p.j.'s watching old movies on TCM and drinking martini's! most of the time i'm just doing what everyone else should be doing...enjoying life, love and taking each day as it comes.
there's something to be learned by living in center city at 64 years old. take nothing for granted. every day i have in this wonderful lively city is a day i want to enjoy to the fullest. i mean, i can walk out my door and there are thirty wonderful restaurants just waiting for me to eat and drink! thirty shops with clothes, shoes, bags, housewares and more. historical buildings, museums, national parks and beautiful buildings to admire. am i starting to sound like an ad for philly. oh well. i have to admit, i was born and raised here, and i still marvel at everything that this city has to offer.
today at 2pm, i'll be sipping a glass of wine at one of my favorite bars, with one of my favorite people. perhaps i'll wear one of my favorite dresses to celebrate. not that i have anything to celebrate, but...why not? now you have me all excited about being here.

--Lethal Lady

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Don't forget to Join the Fanclub! Click Here!

the dreg of society?

i'm really not sure how to even begin. i was driving through a less than desirable area of the city yesterday, and i was shocked and appalled by a scene being carried out on one of the streets.

picture it. three kids. two probably around 5 years old, one still in diapers. no shoes, no shirts. playing...on the sidewalk...in the trash.

wait.

what?

TRASH.

yes. in the trash. on the polluted, littered, grungy street. with no shoes on. and they were having a blast.

i don't know. thinking back, i feel like, maybe i should have called child services or something. i kept expecting john quinones to come popping out of an alley to interview me for that new Primetime show "What Would You Do?"...

unfortunately, he didn't. and i didn't call anyone either. living in this city has desensitized me to certain things...and i kid's playing in the street is one of them. i do admit, this was the worst case of child neglect that i've ever seen...and i've seen a lot in 64 years. but, still...i didn't get involved. because, despite how disgusted i was...and still am...about the situation. i'm no superhero (though i may dress up like one every so often). i'm no activist. i'm just a woman trying to get through the day, the best way i know how.

unfortunately for those kids. the best way i know how is to keep moving.



Don't forget to Join the Fanclub! Click Here!

another question.

Question:
I'm a recently divorced 60 year old woman who just moved back into the city. I spent most of my life being a mom and wife from the suburbs and now everything has changed. My kids are grown and I'm single again. It hasn't been easy but I'm ready to start a new chapter in my life. I need to get a new look to go along with my new outlook? Any suggestions on where to shop in Philadelphia?

-old threads


Answer:
looking cute doesn't mean you have to spend a fortune. honestly, i buy a lot of my clothes from the least expected places. zara's has a great variety of both trendy and professional looking clothes, at reasonable prices. you can pick up the latest long hippy-ish sundress for the beach as well as a wrap dress for work...and spend less than $100. i love h&m for staple items, tee shirts, tank tops, etc. and the same goes for american apparel. and there is always macy's and anthropology sale racks. i've never gone wrong browsing the bargain bins at either of those stores. i am a center city girl, so i rarely go down to the gallery mall or old city. and i hate driving out to king of prussia for anything, 76 is the worst.
when i do want to splurge on something "fierce," i usually go to knit wit or leehe fai
i have some of the cutest sexiest dresses that i wear that i bought off a street vendor or from a consignment shop. i may look like a million bucks, but i sure don't spend that much!


--Lethal Lady

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my latest obsession

ok. maybe it's not latest. maybe it's been my obsession for the past few years. but i love the summer most of all because of 'so you think you can dance'. i can't stop thinking about it. i love it. i want to be 28 again so that i could be on the show.

can i dance?...not really. do i do it anyway? i think you've seen my video...hell yes.

ok. i dance around my living room when the show is on. i love every second of it. the kids on the show are so stinking talented. my goodness. it's the best reality show on television. it's true talent.

the judges are hysterical. it's so much better than any of those other dancing shows...the one w/ the famous people...dancing with the stars. so bad. not worth even watching. it's not even worth flipping the channel past it. honestly. it's that bad.

so. anyway. this show. sooo good. it's no coincidence that i do my live chat on thursday nights, so i can watch while i talk. oops. does that make you jealous?

a serious moment. a true story.

so for some reason i've been thinking lately about this man who jumped to his death, from the top of my apartment building. it was years ago. i didn't know him, but i'm sure i'd seen him in the hallways at least once in my years of living there. he landed in the back alley of the apartment building. near the trashcans. i know, because it was roped off for quite a while. we had to leave our trash in a hallway, just inside. i've also been thinking of how i tried to see where he landed. i remember that wanted to see blood. how morbid?

i dont even know why i'm thinking about that guy. of course i don't know his name. i barely remember what my apartment looked like then.

i guess what i've been thinking is that it's rather sad that someone can sink to that place. i mean, it doesn't make me sad...really. but it makes me wonder....what could make someone so sad?

honestly.

Sunny or Rainy...

gosh what a beautiful weekend it was. sorry it's been a while since i've posted. i've been very tired lately. not sure if it's stress or the change of season or what. i've just been dragging.

well, now it's raining buckets here. i can't go out and have a drink outside the park. and...i've got a backlog of questions to answer...so...i better get to it!

Question:
I know it's all part of life but sometimes getting old makes me blue. I often regret the things I didn't do...I tell myself to concentrate on today and not live in the past, but sometimes it's so difficult. You seem so "together" and happy...do you ever feel sad about getting old?
-Wrinkled and Depressed

Answer:
sad about being old? never. i don't waste my time crying over spilled milk. you can't help that you get old. it happens to everyone, you're born, you're young, you get old, you die. no changing that. what you can change is the regret that you mentioned in your question. there is no reason for you to regret anything. anything. if you didn't do something in the past that you feel you still want to do...DO IT! go dancing, go to rome, sing in the rain, have sex with someone tall dark and handsome...(or short dark and handsome). it's never too late to do anything. honestly, that's why i'm so happy. i recognize that i can do anything i want to. it took me a while to figure out that all that happened to me in my past was just that...passed. and now, i know that there is always a way to do what i want to do. the trick, is figuring it out how...

how? you ask...well that...is for another post ;)

--Lethal Lady

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superficial love.

so the new hot thing right now is paparazzi for the masses. i've been reading about it all over the place. there are these companies that will actually follow you around after you've sent them your itinerary for a day and stalk you like the paparazzi.

interesting? yes.
interested? no.

i mean, being Lethal Lady is pretty high profile in itself...but would i want to have to pay someone to follow me around and pretend i was important.

not really.

so there are two sites that i've specifically seen that do this:
this one is silly. they follow you around and yell your name. people interview you and then you get a fake magazine with your picture on it. i mean....get a life. seriously.

this one....i find very strangely compelling. they don't act all weird and call out your name or whatever...what they do is follow you around, secretly, and take candid pictures of you. its like....voyeurism that you pay for. right? and you sure pay, it's expensive.... but i kind of like the idea.

Indulge

my friend turned 50 yesterday, and she had a party in the back room at this little italian place in center city philly.

it was so much fun, great people, great food, and great wine. i splurged a little (or a lot) on the drinks, and couldn't stop popping calamari and mini carrot cake muffins. (not at the same time, but i definitely went back and forth between the two).

everyone was dressed up, sassy women in dresses and summer skirts, all the men (though half of them were probably gay) looked so dapper in their polo shirts and dress pants. i love a good party. i had a blast. i talked to everyone, even though i only knew a handful of people. and the woman throwing the party was radiant in her lemon yellow sundress.

in the midst of a conversation i was having with one group of people, the topic of indulgence came up. it's hard not to think about indulgence when you're in a party situation, food being passed around and 100 bottle of wine sitting on the table ready to be drunk.

one gentleman there, whom i know pretty well, was eating a brownie, when he turned to me and asked...

"lethal," he asked, "if you had to choose...brownie or sex...which would you?"

i thought for a moment. picked up another brownie from the pile and took a bite...(heavenly)...and answered:

"brownie"

"really?" he asked...i'm sure he was surprised at my response.

"well..." i answered..."it lasts longer..." and, quite frankly, it does.

they were pretty big brownies.

Flobble, Ginourmous...and more.

so...i use made up words. is it a crime? no. is it sometimes embarrassing. well, that, i found out the hard way.

i'm a big proponent of saying what comes to mind. and often times, made up words can explain a situation way better than conventional dictionary words can. (we all know about "truthiness", right?)

so anyway. the other day, i'm in a meeting with some "V.I.P's" and i'm in the middle of talking...and...good lord....it comes out. bragadocious. huh? you read it right...bragadocious. sounds good enough, right. you know what it means, just by the sound of it. well, i guess that's not good enough for some people.

"i'm sorry," VIP #1 interrupts.

"um." i say. "i said bragadocious, but what i meant was..."

"brag..a...dooocious?" VIP #2 says.

"yes...but i meant to say braggart." strange looks all around. eyebrows raised. all that crap.

come on...braggart isn't much better of a word. whats the difference, really. just because it's listed in Webster's means it's more acceptable? i mean, it's like it doesn't sound like a real word. and as i said, it's easy to know what i meant....

ok. as i am writing this, i'm thinking to myself. "are you serious?" and, really, am i?

the fine print.

i'm taking a new medication to relieve myself of some stress headaches i've been getting lately. it's medication i've never taken before, and of course, can't pronounce...and it's making me sick.

i'm a big believer in psychosomatic symptoms...so i don't usually read the laundry list of side effects that a medication has. i always feel like, if i read it...i may end up getting it. so i usually avoid them. i throw them away as soon as i open the pills.

anyway i started taking the medicine about a week ago...and since then, i've ended up getting constipated, then i got diarrhea...i'm getting increased heart rate and palpitations throughout the day...extreme drowsinesses (despite the fast heartbeats)...and the shakes.

but have i had one headache?
of course not.
not one single pang.

what the hell is wrong with the medical profession that they cannot cure one ailment without giving you fifteen others in it's place? i've taken more medication to counteract the side effects of the original medicine...i'd probably test positive for heroin at this point, just from the pill cocktails i've been swallowing on a daily basis!

is it worth it to me to have a headache free day, when i'm spending my time either too far from a toilet or way too close? i'm walking around in a shaky stupor, feeling like my heart is in my throat! and i'm sitting up at nearly 1am on a thursday night when i have to work the next day because i can't sleep due to my extreme stomach conditions!

if this is what i have to look forward to as i get older, and my insides stop working...good lord...strike me down now. i can't take it! i'd rather let my body run it's course than worry about what some medications are going to make it do!

wouldn't you?

22, 34, 46, 58...Who Do I Appreciate?

Question:
How young is too young? How old is too old?
-Larry


Answer:
the words "too old" and "too young" don't appear in my book. unless you are talking about kids, then, well, i don't want you reading my blog, you sick fucker.

otherwise...i'm not sure i can say anyone of legal age is too young or old. love, sex, fun...they are not about ages, or numbers. they are about feelings....and if it feels right..well...it probably is. as i've said before here in this blog..i've dated younger men, and yes, i've dated older men. in fact, i'm seeing an older gentleman right now...and believe me, honey, i'd never say he's "too old". he's as young and virile as they come...

age is just a number. and for me. i like the number 20...and 52...and 78..and 43...and...


--Lethal Lady

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cigarettes and chocolate milk.

saw rufus wainwright on saturday night in princeton. i went with a friend of mine who is a big fan. i was familiar with his music...some of it...so i agreed to go along. it was great.

went to town earlier than the show and walked around. it's a beautiful area, though not much going on as far as shopping. j crew, talbots, ralph lauren. seen it. no better than philly...which, truth be told, ain't that great shopping either. either way, i love walking around princeton college area. it's so pretty. it was close to 90 degrees on saturday, so the weather was unbelievable. there were tons of students around...it made me think about how long ago it was when i was their age. ugh! forget i said that!

so back to the show. it was really great. his voice is amazing. he sounds just like he does on his albums...only...well, better. and he's such a cutey. he sang all the great songs. and a few that i know from listening to his albums in my friend's car or apartment. i was surprised at how many people my age were there. he mentioned during the show that most of his albums are bought by women. we're his market. who knew?

well, if you don't know him...go get an album. any album. poses is my favorite, but it's old. any of his albums are great.

that's all she wrote. for now.

Not My Idol.

i hate david archuleta.

there. i said it. and i feel better now. it's off my chest, and i dont care if you agree with me or not. i get why everyone says his voice is great, the boy can definately sing. i just personally don't like his voice.

i can't stand him.

i feel bad cause he's a kid, and i think his father is a stage dad, and forces him to do all of this stuff. it's all over the internet that his father's a crazy one. but...i still can't find the compassion to like david. i just can't.

oh, and did i mention...he didnt know any beatles songs? i mean, come on...you're a teenager, not a mutant!

i don't know. i'm sick of him singing bullshit inspirational songs.

anyway. i just want this kid to be voted off. won't you all stop calling for him?

Fanclub

it's official...the fanclub has begun! it's been a long time coming. and i've put a lot of thought into it. i've been asking questions of a lot of my fans...and friends...and here it is. finished. formulated. and hopefully, fun.

so...basically, here's how it works. choose one of the following membership levels, and see what you receive below. after you have joined the fanclub, you'll receive an email with instructions on how to choose "topics" for your monthly personally written letter, questions on your address info, and the rest of the "rules and regulations" of the membership.

from there...it's just fun!

Level 1 membership:
$15 -- You Recieve:
- Welcome Kit (contains a welcome letter, membership card, a signed picture)
- One personally hand written letter per month from Lethal Lady based on my choice of interests.

Level 2 membership:
$25 -- You Recieve:
- Welcome Kit (contains a welcome letter, membership card, a signed picture)
- One personally hand written letter per month from Lethal Lady based on your specific interests chosen from a provided list (see below)
- One personal photo per month of Lethal Lady (from her private collection)
- One surprise Welcome Gift


that's about it...not that hard, right? so...if you have any questions, feel free to use the comments section in this post, or email me. i'm here to answer your questions...and hopefully...get to know you through the fanclub...

Some topics for letters are (sampling):

    * Aging                    * Communication          * Online Dating
    * Body Language            * Dating                 * Romantic Cooking
    * Breaking Up              * Flirting               * Being Seniors
    * Careers                  * Love Poems

Click here to Join!

Get Over It...

Question:
There's a woman in my office that I've been flirting with.
She's sexy and smart and I'd really like to go out with her.
I'm single and so is she. So what's the problem you ask?
Well, she's 57 and I'm 29. I mentioned in passing to some of my guy friends that I thought she was hot. They said “yeh, but she's old dude.” I think she might go out with me but I'm afraid to be seen with her in public. I know I shouldn't care.
Any advice?
-jason

Answer:
you have two choices, Jason….and both begin with “get over it”…

get over it #1…get over her…and pussy out on taking a chance. (not recommending this one.)

get over it #2…(this is my favorite choice)…get over your insecurity. what the hell do you care what the “public” thinks? seriously? You could be passing up some of the best times of your young life. you're friends will end up being jealous of the fun you're having...and the rest of the world can...well...they can fuck off.

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Something to Talk About

i'm tired. not like sleepy tired...but tired...of..well, everything. i'm tired of this divorce. tired of my house. tired of everyone complaining. (am i complaining now?) just tired.

it's getting nicer outside, and i think i'm supposed to be feeling happy and light and airy and springy. instead i feel tired.

i went out this weekend, took a long walk along the schuylkill river, 8 miles. and it was just wonderful...i didn't think about anything except the weather (72 degrees!), the people i passed (interesting lot), the beauty of being outside. i felt like i escaped for those few hours. i left my cellphone in the car. left everything in the car...

am i being to melancholy?

snap out of it.

Passing the Time...

With the answer to a question...

Question:
I have a younger lover--I know, I know, what's to complain about? The thing is that at 28, he goes on and on and on and on. I'm getting totally exhausted, and even starting to do the dreaded shopping list in my head. What can I do to get him moving along without hurting his feelings or, God forbid, encouraging him towards a more limber lass his own age?
-Brinda


Answer:
You know my opinion…honesty is the best policy. Let him know that you've had some fun (lots of fun, right?) but it's time to move on. If you're tired…tell him your tired. If you're bored..tell him. If you can't keep up….and I get it, young men are quite virile…just tell him. Better you let him go, tell him to find someone more apt to handle his constant urges…a "limber lass" as you put it…

--Lethal Lady

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Getting a Rise

well well. got a comment on one of my previous posts today...looks like some people really have a problem with me. this person (whom i think is chicken shit to call themselves "anonymous") wants me to "honestly answer"...so here you go.

Comment:
I think you are mean, judgemental, self centered and over confident. You are hardly that pretty, and even less attractive the more you write. How your family and friends can even take you seriously is one question I'd like to see you honestly answer? - anonymous

Answer:
mean? sometimes.
judgemental? definitely.
self centered? well, clearly.
over confident? nah...i'd say, just the right amount of confident.

but those aren't really your questions, right? you want to know how my family and friends take me seriously. well, i'm not sure they always do. i think they find me sometimes weird, sometimes ditsy, and sometimes a little tactless. they know when i'm being serious and when i'm being...well...just me...and guess what...they actually still like me. wow, that's amazing, right? people can actually like me for who i am? what kind of friends are they?

so i have a question for you...mr or ms anonymous. a question i've asked many people who've written to this blog with questions or comments about me being dumb, or boring, or whatever...

why are you reading?

- lethal lady

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For Your Protection...

had a pretty relaxing weekend. last night i cooked up some homemade gnocchi for a few friends...drank some wine...had a nice time.

now i'm sitting around, watching re-runs of CSI...reading through my emails and getting ready to answer some, always interesting, questions...

Question:
Explain how to use a female condom, and give opinion on if they are better/worse to use than a male condom?
-anonymous

Answer:
hahaa! female condom? i have to say, i'm not that modern. i've seen one of those things once..and it nearly scared my hoo-hoo into hibernation...it's so...i don't know...big! weird! abnormal! it looks like a jellyfish! i wouldn't know how to use one if it slapped me in the...well...you get the point. i'm sorry that i can't be of further assistance on this one..but...i'm "old fashioned" in that arena. when it comes down to carnal knowledge....the only knowledge i have is of trojan man.

--Lethal Lady

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