Flobble, Ginourmous...and more.

so...i use made up words. is it a crime? no. is it sometimes embarrassing. well, that, i found out the hard way.

i'm a big proponent of saying what comes to mind. and often times, made up words can explain a situation way better than conventional dictionary words can. (we all know about "truthiness", right?)

so anyway. the other day, i'm in a meeting with some "V.I.P's" and i'm in the middle of talking...and...good lord....it comes out. bragadocious. huh? you read it right...bragadocious. sounds good enough, right. you know what it means, just by the sound of it. well, i guess that's not good enough for some people.

"i'm sorry," VIP #1 interrupts.

"um." i say. "i said bragadocious, but what i meant was..."

"brag..a...dooocious?" VIP #2 says.

"yes...but i meant to say braggart." strange looks all around. eyebrows raised. all that crap.

come on...braggart isn't much better of a word. whats the difference, really. just because it's listed in Webster's means it's more acceptable? i mean, it's like it doesn't sound like a real word. and as i said, it's easy to know what i meant....

ok. as i am writing this, i'm thinking to myself. "are you serious?" and, really, am i?

the fine print.

i'm taking a new medication to relieve myself of some stress headaches i've been getting lately. it's medication i've never taken before, and of course, can't pronounce...and it's making me sick.

i'm a big believer in psychosomatic symptoms...so i don't usually read the laundry list of side effects that a medication has. i always feel like, if i read it...i may end up getting it. so i usually avoid them. i throw them away as soon as i open the pills.

anyway i started taking the medicine about a week ago...and since then, i've ended up getting constipated, then i got diarrhea...i'm getting increased heart rate and palpitations throughout the day...extreme drowsinesses (despite the fast heartbeats)...and the shakes.

but have i had one headache?
of course not.
not one single pang.

what the hell is wrong with the medical profession that they cannot cure one ailment without giving you fifteen others in it's place? i've taken more medication to counteract the side effects of the original medicine...i'd probably test positive for heroin at this point, just from the pill cocktails i've been swallowing on a daily basis!

is it worth it to me to have a headache free day, when i'm spending my time either too far from a toilet or way too close? i'm walking around in a shaky stupor, feeling like my heart is in my throat! and i'm sitting up at nearly 1am on a thursday night when i have to work the next day because i can't sleep due to my extreme stomach conditions!

if this is what i have to look forward to as i get older, and my insides stop working...good lord...strike me down now. i can't take it! i'd rather let my body run it's course than worry about what some medications are going to make it do!

wouldn't you?

22, 34, 46, 58...Who Do I Appreciate?

Question:
How young is too young? How old is too old?
-Larry


Answer:
the words "too old" and "too young" don't appear in my book. unless you are talking about kids, then, well, i don't want you reading my blog, you sick fucker.

otherwise...i'm not sure i can say anyone of legal age is too young or old. love, sex, fun...they are not about ages, or numbers. they are about feelings....and if it feels right..well...it probably is. as i've said before here in this blog..i've dated younger men, and yes, i've dated older men. in fact, i'm seeing an older gentleman right now...and believe me, honey, i'd never say he's "too old". he's as young and virile as they come...

age is just a number. and for me. i like the number 20...and 52...and 78..and 43...and...


--Lethal Lady

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cigarettes and chocolate milk.

saw rufus wainwright on saturday night in princeton. i went with a friend of mine who is a big fan. i was familiar with his music...some of it...so i agreed to go along. it was great.

went to town earlier than the show and walked around. it's a beautiful area, though not much going on as far as shopping. j crew, talbots, ralph lauren. seen it. no better than philly...which, truth be told, ain't that great shopping either. either way, i love walking around princeton college area. it's so pretty. it was close to 90 degrees on saturday, so the weather was unbelievable. there were tons of students around...it made me think about how long ago it was when i was their age. ugh! forget i said that!

so back to the show. it was really great. his voice is amazing. he sounds just like he does on his albums...only...well, better. and he's such a cutey. he sang all the great songs. and a few that i know from listening to his albums in my friend's car or apartment. i was surprised at how many people my age were there. he mentioned during the show that most of his albums are bought by women. we're his market. who knew?

well, if you don't know him...go get an album. any album. poses is my favorite, but it's old. any of his albums are great.

that's all she wrote. for now.

Not My Idol.

i hate david archuleta.

there. i said it. and i feel better now. it's off my chest, and i dont care if you agree with me or not. i get why everyone says his voice is great, the boy can definately sing. i just personally don't like his voice.

i can't stand him.

i feel bad cause he's a kid, and i think his father is a stage dad, and forces him to do all of this stuff. it's all over the internet that his father's a crazy one. but...i still can't find the compassion to like david. i just can't.

oh, and did i mention...he didnt know any beatles songs? i mean, come on...you're a teenager, not a mutant!

i don't know. i'm sick of him singing bullshit inspirational songs.

anyway. i just want this kid to be voted off. won't you all stop calling for him?

Fanclub

it's official...the fanclub has begun! it's been a long time coming. and i've put a lot of thought into it. i've been asking questions of a lot of my fans...and friends...and here it is. finished. formulated. and hopefully, fun.

so...basically, here's how it works. choose one of the following membership levels, and see what you receive below. after you have joined the fanclub, you'll receive an email with instructions on how to choose "topics" for your monthly personally written letter, questions on your address info, and the rest of the "rules and regulations" of the membership.

from there...it's just fun!

Level 1 membership:
$15 -- You Recieve:
- Welcome Kit (contains a welcome letter, membership card, a signed picture)
- One personally hand written letter per month from Lethal Lady based on my choice of interests.

Level 2 membership:
$25 -- You Recieve:
- Welcome Kit (contains a welcome letter, membership card, a signed picture)
- One personally hand written letter per month from Lethal Lady based on your specific interests chosen from a provided list (see below)
- One personal photo per month of Lethal Lady (from her private collection)
- One surprise Welcome Gift


that's about it...not that hard, right? so...if you have any questions, feel free to use the comments section in this post, or email me. i'm here to answer your questions...and hopefully...get to know you through the fanclub...

Some topics for letters are (sampling):

    * Aging                    * Communication          * Online Dating
    * Body Language            * Dating                 * Romantic Cooking
    * Breaking Up              * Flirting               * Being Seniors
    * Careers                  * Love Poems

Click here to Join!

Get Over It...

Question:
There's a woman in my office that I've been flirting with.
She's sexy and smart and I'd really like to go out with her.
I'm single and so is she. So what's the problem you ask?
Well, she's 57 and I'm 29. I mentioned in passing to some of my guy friends that I thought she was hot. They said “yeh, but she's old dude.” I think she might go out with me but I'm afraid to be seen with her in public. I know I shouldn't care.
Any advice?
-jason

Answer:
you have two choices, Jason….and both begin with “get over it”…

get over it #1…get over her…and pussy out on taking a chance. (not recommending this one.)

get over it #2…(this is my favorite choice)…get over your insecurity. what the hell do you care what the “public” thinks? seriously? You could be passing up some of the best times of your young life. you're friends will end up being jealous of the fun you're having...and the rest of the world can...well...they can fuck off.

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Something to Talk About

i'm tired. not like sleepy tired...but tired...of..well, everything. i'm tired of this divorce. tired of my house. tired of everyone complaining. (am i complaining now?) just tired.

it's getting nicer outside, and i think i'm supposed to be feeling happy and light and airy and springy. instead i feel tired.

i went out this weekend, took a long walk along the schuylkill river, 8 miles. and it was just wonderful...i didn't think about anything except the weather (72 degrees!), the people i passed (interesting lot), the beauty of being outside. i felt like i escaped for those few hours. i left my cellphone in the car. left everything in the car...

am i being to melancholy?

snap out of it.

Passing the Time...

With the answer to a question...

Question:
I have a younger lover--I know, I know, what's to complain about? The thing is that at 28, he goes on and on and on and on. I'm getting totally exhausted, and even starting to do the dreaded shopping list in my head. What can I do to get him moving along without hurting his feelings or, God forbid, encouraging him towards a more limber lass his own age?
-Brinda


Answer:
You know my opinion…honesty is the best policy. Let him know that you've had some fun (lots of fun, right?) but it's time to move on. If you're tired…tell him your tired. If you're bored..tell him. If you can't keep up….and I get it, young men are quite virile…just tell him. Better you let him go, tell him to find someone more apt to handle his constant urges…a "limber lass" as you put it…

--Lethal Lady

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Getting a Rise

well well. got a comment on one of my previous posts today...looks like some people really have a problem with me. this person (whom i think is chicken shit to call themselves "anonymous") wants me to "honestly answer"...so here you go.

Comment:
I think you are mean, judgemental, self centered and over confident. You are hardly that pretty, and even less attractive the more you write. How your family and friends can even take you seriously is one question I'd like to see you honestly answer? - anonymous

Answer:
mean? sometimes.
judgemental? definitely.
self centered? well, clearly.
over confident? nah...i'd say, just the right amount of confident.

but those aren't really your questions, right? you want to know how my family and friends take me seriously. well, i'm not sure they always do. i think they find me sometimes weird, sometimes ditsy, and sometimes a little tactless. they know when i'm being serious and when i'm being...well...just me...and guess what...they actually still like me. wow, that's amazing, right? people can actually like me for who i am? what kind of friends are they?

so i have a question for you...mr or ms anonymous. a question i've asked many people who've written to this blog with questions or comments about me being dumb, or boring, or whatever...

why are you reading?

- lethal lady

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