Don't Cha Version 2

So...we went back and cut another version of the video. It's a bit shorter and a little more fun. What do you all think? Personally, I love both versions....and I'm truly not sick of the song yet!

Hopefully you aren't either...or sick of me!

Pollen.

In my 63 years of life...I have never felt this awful in the wake of allergy season. I am itching from head to toe...my eyes, my knees, my freaking hands! AAh! I have a constant headache and I've been dizzy for a week. STRAIGHT! I feel like the walking wounded...a leper...
It's ruining my social life as well. Friday and Saturday night were spent sitting at home watching movies and dozing off with a cocktail of Claritin D and Benedryl. Who knows if I can even mix the two?? Oh well, I'm not dead, right?
I don't have all that much to report...since I've been feeling quarantined inside my apartment. It's been so beautiful out too...and I can't even enjoy it. Usually around this time of year I like to take long walks around the city and just enjoy life. Instead, I'm watching tv and enjoying brain rot!

Pop Culture Minute

OK. So I'm going to take a minute to talk about the recent goings-on in pop culture. Because I love it. And because it's all anyone is talking about right now.

Britany...oh Britany. My goodness. I'm all for baring yourself...and feeling beautiful with what you've got...but...need you show us ALLLL you've got? I mean...if you don't want to commit to the gym, or to eating less...then...put on a top that goes all the way down to your waist.
By the way...that little blonde silly girl on The View said something about her not being "fat." I'm sorry. She was fat. Too fat to be badly dancing with a bikini on.

Jennifer Hudson in Sex in the City. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm actually not even sure how I feel about the film being made at all. I hope that they don't ruin a perfectly perfect show. The characters were so real. Of course, I always felt akin to Samantha...the (sort of) aging vixen. She did what she wanted and never said she was sorry. Just like me!

Finally...I saw a video of Mandy Moore singing that song "Umbrella" on You Tube. It was just not right. Firstly...she shouldn't be allowed to be a star anymore. I can't stand her little prissy happy sweet girl face. (But that's besides the point.) Secondly...no one needed to make that song over. No matter how good a singer you are (and she's really not that great)...that song is purely bubble gum catchy pop (hip pop, if you will). There was no need to try to make it serious and soulful.

Ok. Now I'm off to make myself a drink, and watch Extra or read US Weekly. I love it, and I am not afraid to admit it.

Fee Fie Ho-Hum

It is balmy out. Even at this hour of the night. I'm tired, and my eyes are bleary from staring at this computer screen. But I am here. Since only a few of you have decided to chat with me these Tuesday and Thursday nights, I'm beginning to think that no one is out there. Then again...I'm just too cute to ignore...so...you must be watching. Maybe you are just shy???


Anyway...I went to Atlantic City this weekend. The "Last Hoorah" of Summer, I guess. My girlfriends and I donned our Sunday best *yeh right* and went wild. I love my Cosmo's, I have to admit it. Something about that fruity concoction just makes me happy. Perhaps it's all the Vodka!! So I brought along a few bucks to gamble...even though I'm not the biggest fan of throwing my money away and getting nothing in return. (I'd much rather spend it on a hot little outfit, or, you know me by now...right?...a new pair of shoes...) But I spent my portion, and I lost my portion, and I was ready to go. My friends, on the other hand, had a lucky night. One in particular kept piling up the chips. Cha Ching, Cha Ching. Her machine was hot...she was filling her big plastic cups...laughing and cheering all the way. I kept telling her to keep her winnings separate. Don't bet with the overage....and then she gambled it all away. Including more than she started with...until all she had left was her car keys and her free meal coupon. And the meal wasn't even good. But did I mention the Cosmo's were?

Hello Out There...

Where was everyone last night? I was there...a few of my "fans" were there....but where were you? I debuted my chat line..and no one came to play!

I also wanted to say to my one animal loving friend...sorry my computer crashed at the end of our conversation! I enjoyed talking to you...!

Going Live...

Don't forget tonight is the first night I am chatting live on my website, from 7-9 pm.
Just go to any page of my website to talk to me live!!!

Seasons of Summer...

I was sitting around last night thinking about what I am going to do when summer is over. It's so close. And August tends to fly by. I don't want it to end…even though the weather is often unbearably hot, the sticky humid air swallows us whole when we step outside…I don't care. I'll take it. A little sweat never killed anyone. In fact, it can be great lubrication.
All my friends look forward to the winter. They plan their island vacation getaways, their golf outings, and their overseas romps. I choose to stay at home, in my cold and gray city. It doesn’t mean I don't like it….I can't complain really about any place that affords me the luxury of living the way I do. (Sexy, single and sixty-three…) But I do admit that the thought of summer ending does pull my perfect lips down into a perfect pout.
End of summer means no more bikinis. No more leggy shorts. No more skin!
Don't get me wrong…Fall Fashion gives the best sorts of style choices (I read the magazines, I know it's "the time" for fashion)….I know, I can still bare a bit without freezing to death…but, it's definitely an end to certain things…mini-skirts and strappy sandals, outdoor dining, barbecue smells from my neighbors apartment balconies.
No more bedroom windows open and sex to the city sounds. No more beach!
Well, I'm not one to wallow in misery. As you know, I bitch slap those miserable fools. I'm one to get out there and take action during the last few weeks of heat that I have. A few more weekend drives to the New Jersey Shore. A few more mid-afternoon outings for an icy margarita on the sidewalks of Philly. And I can definitely hit the summer sales to buy myself a few more sundresses to sport for the rest of August. You know what…I'm feeling better already.

Live Chat - Coming Soon

So, I've been thinking...Everyone has given me such great feedback on my YouTube video, that I am thinking about adding a Live Chat line to the blog, where I can talk directly to all of my newly acquired adoring fans!

Check back later this week for more details. I am raring up to discuss my life, your life, whatever comes to mind. I'll see you all soon on the "live" side of things!!

Video!! Finally!!

So here's the video...I'm so happy it's finally finished. I loooove how it turned out, and I know you will too! Let me know what you all think!!

Coming Soon!!!

My video is finally FINALLY done!!! I am waiting on the finished cut from my friend, and then I'll be posting it up for all to see!!!

I can't wait to share it...I had so much fun making it and I hope you have as much fun watching!

Unsuitable Topics for Discussion

Maybe I think too much about peeing. I don't know, I do it so often (I'm an avid water drinker), that I am forced to think about it a lot! All I know is as I sit down on the toilet that fifteen or so times a day (maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit), it's what I think about. I know that a lot of people can use that time to think about other things...some people read, browse magazines, whatever. Some people may use that time to ponder their life problems, bills, budgets, divorce, dating...whatever. All I know is that I think about...well...pee. I can tell you what color my urine is depends on what time of day it is. I can tell you that most of the time it smells like rice krispie treats (perhaps it's the vitamins I take?). I can tell you what it sounds like in different toilets that I use in the course of a week. I can tell you that I cannot sneeze (as we have already discussed, a few weeks back), while I am in the midst of a steady stream. I can tell you way too much about my bathroom relief. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. I have actually become such an expert at the bathroom game, that I can sometimes tell who is in the public office bathroom with me just by the sound of their stall behavior. O.K. Now I do shamefully admit that there is something wrong...

I think that people in general think it is taboo to discuss these types of things. But I feel like, everyone does it, or at least, if they are healthy they do...so why can't we talk about it? Is it so embarrassing to someone that something so unclean comes out of something so precious? It's a matter of fact that people like to discuss it more than they want to admit. I have had more conversations about what goes on in the loo than you can imagine. And it comes up in a myriad of social situations...from family gatherings to cubicle discussions in the office. Somehow the conversation of excrement comes to occur. Maybe this is why I am so observant of when I relieve myself...because I'm sure it's going to come up in conversation at one time or another in the near future.

Am I the only one who spends my private lavatory times partially preparing for deliberation later with my friends and family? I don't think that I am...because more often than not...the other participants in my circle of discussion are all too willing to share their own opinions on the "matter." Maybe it's time I stop thinking about it now though...I kind of have to pee.

The City By the Bay

Sorry it's taken so long to post. I have been traveling...to the Fog City. Had a great time, ate a lot of good food. Caught a cold on the 6 hour plane ride.

It was only the second time I've been to San Francisco...but it was a much better trip this time then the last. The food in San Fran is the best! Everywhere I went I got a great meal deserving of a write up in any national "foodie" magazine!

What is most strange about it all is that despite the overwhelming amount of amazing restaurants that San Fran has to offer, the majority of people there are thin. Maybe it's the hills? Walking burns calories...? All I know is that I'd be hard pressed to stay as sexy as I am if I lived there....it's all too much food goodness!

On another note...as soon as I got back to work, (with my head cold, jet lag and all), I was moving some stuff around with one of my co-workers. It's a job we often get stuck doing...rearranging things around the place. We began joking that with all the redecorating and heavy lifting that we do, we should become professional movers. The idea developed into the thought of us opening a business of naked movers. Nude Move. Move your Stuff in the Buff. Birthday Suit Movers. Any ideas?

I don't know. All I know is that it would probably make us a lot of money. I look good naked...great actually, and for what I know, he does too...and who wouldn't want to watch beautiful people transport your furniture while undressed?

Then again...things happen when your naked, that may not be too pleasant on someone else's furniture....hmmm...do i need to rethink this one?

Excretion Impossible?

How come we can't pee and sneeze at the same time?

Is it a physical impossibility? Do our bodies not allow two expulsions of liquid at one time?

I don't understand it. Especially now in the crux of Spring....when my allergies are raging. (Though I'm not complaining about the fact that it's spring.)

I enjoy sneezing. I also enjoy peeing. They are usually both a welcomed release. But I hate having to interrupt one to do the other. Honestly, I don't want to be in the public bathroom at my job any longer than I have to be...and breaking out into a sneeze-fest in the middle of urinating only prolongs that business longer than necessary.

I think that it's the same with blowing your nose and peeing, though I've never tested the theory.

It makes me wonder...what else won't my body allow me to do at the same time?

Inappropriate Touching

So...I'm a big fan of touching...in my private personal life. I love it when my man touches my neck...the small of my back...the inside of my...well, mostly anything actually. But when a stranger crosses that line, I have to say, it ain't fun.

It happens all the time, on the elevator...in a store. Last night I attended a business cocktail hour...which may have been two hours, but who's counting when it's open bar. It was supposed to be one of those "Meet and Greet" networking things...which I must confess, I'm pretty good at. Anyway, it's strange the number of people, men and women, who find it OK to touch someone they just met. More than once I had a newly made acquaintance grab my hand or arm. One woman grabbed the fabric of my skirt and told me how much she liked the material. The worst of it was when someone was trying to get past me in the restaurant...he put his hands on my
waist and moved me out of his way. A few minutes later, he handed me his business card. Talk about fuck and run.

Whatever...

On another note. I was not around last week (sorry folks), but I was doing something fun that I'm preparing to share with all of you...I was playing around with some of my friends, and we put together a fun video. It will be ready for viewing soon...but here's a preview of what's to come...I know you'll enjoy it...

Parking Rot

I waited 45 minutes at a Parking lot to get my car last night. It wasn't because the lot was super busy. Actually, I got there before the rush of people. I stood and waited, holding my purse, tote bag, and shopping bags, teetering on my heels, after a long day of working, and watched car after car leave the lot…with mine no where to be found.


I am extremely nice and polite to the drivers. I tip them every time I drop off AND pick up my car. And last night, I never asked where my car was. I only stood there. And each time they drove a car up the ramp, they looked at me and said nothing.

Finally after 45 minutes of waiting, one of them inquired what was going on. Someone had marked my parking ticket as "closed out." And so one realized that my car was never retrieved from the cavernous lot below. They apologized profusely, got me my car, and I left for home.

So my question is this... Where did the times go where an attractive woman carrying a ton of packages would get a little special treatment? I know for a fact that in the past (10, 15, 20 years ago), if I were standing in the same situation, the men who drove the cars would have paid attention to me. They would have asked me if they could help, hold my bags, open the door for me. They would have directed me to a bench where I could rest my weary (and sexy heeled) feet. They would have gotten my car right away! Is it wrong, in an age of "female empowerment," to expect a little more respect for the gentler sex? Where have the times of sexy women getting a little special treatment gone?

And never mind all that, where have the times of ANYONE getting proper customer service gone?

Bienvenido a Miami

I love South Beach. It's one of the only places where I can find older women as attractive as me. I feel comfortable there. While I was there, P Diddy, or Diddy, or whatever his name is this week, was having a party. InStyle magazine had their annual Inside InStyle expo. And the Gay and Lesbian Film Festival was taking place. And these are only three of the things that I happened to notice. There were so many people out and about it was outrageous. I got an amazing tan and showcased my new summer wardrobe nicely.

We saw Teddy from the MTV show Ocean Drive, not so much famous as he is gorgeous…and plenty of other "beautiful people" just ripe for the picking. Of course, there were some not so beautiful people there as well. It amazes me how many women will wear skimpy tops and short-shorts when they should clearly not be. I mean….I understand feeling good about yourself….but…maybe some people should think a little harder before sharing their confidence w/ the world.

The best part of my extended weekend, however, was the amount of times I got hit on. My favorite was an incredibly well dressed, attractive woman, who couldn't take her eyes off my assets…and I wasn't even wearing my best outfit (see below).

She repeatedly brushed her body against my arm, back, etc…and bought me and my friends more than one round of drinks. I admit that I enjoyed the way she drank me in…and I definitely took the time to give a little flirt back to her. It just goes back to prove that it doesn’t matter what gender, age, sex, sect you are…getting admired is always a positive thing.

Ten-Pin Bowling

Earlier this week I was invited to an afternoon of bowling with some perfume models I know. I haven't been bowling in years, but since there are lanes popping up everywhere recently I figured I'd give it a shot.

I was quite amazed at the layout of the place...way different than what I expected. We actually had cocktails and lunch before we even started playing the game! After my two Cosmo's and an order of Tomato and Cheese S'mores...we broke up into teams and picked our balls. Ten pounds suited me fine, though I imagine others might have quite a problem with ten pound balls. But let me keep my mind out of the gutter…since quite a few of my balls went there!

Anyway, I find it interesting how popular bowling has become again. When I was younger, bowling was the thing to do…but I think that people lost interest for a while. Now…boy…it's definitely back in full swing. I read the other day about Carmen Electra and Kirsten Dunst doing some bowl for charity event. Brandon Roth used to work at Lucky Strike before becoming the man of steel. The lanes I went to even has a dress code! And I've been carrying a Mark Jacobs handbag modeled in the style of a bowling bag for years…but my obsession with handbags is another story.



I don’t know what it is about bowling, but I really find it enjoyable. Maybe it's the fact that I'm pretty good at it (at least in my group of friends I am!). I did score the highest on both teams. Maybe it's the fact that there is so much precision involved. The perfect ball, the perfect finger hole, the perfect stance. It's a lot like sex, actually, which I'm also pretty good at. Whatever it is…I have to make sure that I keep this on my regular list of things to do.

Tomorrow I'm headed for Miami for the weekend...I can't wait to share my exploits!

What-wurst?

I've never seen anything like it in my life. I was at a friend's house for dinner, having a pleasant time, drinking wine. We were socializing, eating appetizers, loosening up. And then we sat down to dinner.
First came the salad…nuts…cheese...lettuce…blah blah. Then, the second course is put in front of me…and it's a BIG PINK DICK ON A PLATE! With sauerkraut! And I'm supposed to EAT IT! Look. I'm no prude. I'm also not shy around penis…I've seen many in my life. But do I want to sit down to dinner and cut one up with a knife and fork? Not really.

I'm curious to know what compelled my neighbors to serve me a big bratwurst or knockwurst or dick-wurst. I'm compelled to know why anyone would serve that thing at a dinner party, period. Or why any man would want to eat it. Doesn't it make you feel uncomfortable? If someone served me D-cup tits on a plate, I don’t know how I'd react…but I certainly wouldn’t smile and swallow…I only do that for special occasions.
;)

Fancy Slut

Someone called me a "fancy slut" as I walked across the street. The guy in the truck was illegal turning on a red light, as I was trying to cross the street on the green. I guess I was in his way? He really needed to get somewhere? I don’t know…but fancy slut? What does that even mean?

I'll admit I'm fancy. I wear designer clothes and sunglasses. I rarely walk out the front door without my high heels on. I do my hair and paint my face to go to the grocery store…but slut?

It is interesting to me that men will revert to using the worst classification that they can think of to insult a woman. "Slut" refers to promiscuity in the bedroom. And, yes, I do enjoy a romp in the sack as much as the next gal…but I'd hardly call myself a slut. And how would he even know what I'm doing in the bedroom just by the way I walk across the street? Does the shape of my calves somehow indicate my propensity for boinking? Perhaps the shake of my ass would…but he couldn’t have even seen that through the fabric of my trench coat. The slur doesn’t even offend me, honestly. But I find it interesting what a person will go out of their way to yell to a complete stranger. I mean, call me what you want, but at least have reason for it.

Thinking about it, maybe I should have stopped and flashed him a bit of skin. Pulled down one of my lapels and displayed some cleavage from my v-neck blouse. Lifted up my leg to adjust the panty hose I was wearing. Makes me want to run down the street again and wait…I'll show you a fancy slut.

Prize Winner - 4/13

Congratulations!

"tommy" you are last week’s winner, please choose one of my products on my site Lethallaldy.com and email to me at info@lethallady.com your full name and address for shipping. . .

Thanks for playing...and keep looking for me on the streets!